Only If I Could Put It In A Right Way!

The Sky Is Blue

I tried to catch you

When you were just another

falling star

I was bound to miss the sight of,

How foolish of me to

see the dream come true

before closing my eyes

Sky is dark

Stars are white

Clouds are grey

and the moon is shining bright

I want to hold you till eternity

But it just doesn't feel right

What does it take

for me to live in the realm of ‘reality’

Why do I have to ask for more?
When I have reasons to stay complete

Why do I have to beg?

Why am I so incomplete?
Is it you who can complete me?

What am I waiting for?

The sky is blue,

And the clouds are white,

the grasses are green,

How am I supposed to complete myself?

If you are not the one I can win

Aayush

Eternal Sunshine Of A Clueless Mind! I really want to make a Movie.

What Do I Want To Make A Movie About?

I am Aayush Ghimire. And I am clinically serious about my wish to make a movie in Nepal. And I am a dreamer and believe in achieving.

But my Life is full of 'if's and 'But's. I always hated this. When I was may be 13 years old I decided to engage my career towards becoming an Indian chartered accountant (the brand value of Indian CA is high in Global Market, you know? like you really wanted to know).

We had an economic recession in our family, which forced me to treasure the value of money to the extent that I got obsessed about it. So I was forced into the Chartered Accountant’s Education system. I was darn intelligent but education literally ruined me. 

Yes, education ruins your intelligence because 'Education' feeds you all the unnecessary information into your brain. You know how the 'junk food' spoils your health. And so does the so-called 'Education', read ‘Junk food’ if you are not able to engross knowledge of the things you really want to 'know' & really want to 'do'.

Our education system doesn't make sense; like they say ' Fishes should learn to fly, Birds to swim, in the name of uniform education.' Who will tell them, the education experts, that the fish cannot survive outside water? But no, they should also learn to fly because there should be uniformity in education. 

I am that fish.

What? Wasn't I supposed to write about the Movie I want to make?  I am sorry I got carried away. Actually, I am not that fish. Actually I could have chosen any profession to pursue, even the film making. But no, the 13 year old naive brain of mine decided to make this life-ruining and boring decision of pursuing this career.

But I belong to middle class family whose 90% of earning goes in executing the famous United Nations 'fulfill the basic needs' mission, 9% goes on my education and 1% on saving. Entertainment is limited to bunking the classes and sometime going movie with friends on credit and skipping meals to pay for the 'Sin'. I am being sarcastic. But it is nearest thing to the reality I am facing and most of the people are. So I decided to become a CA because it was the cheapest thing I could buy with my intelligence and my family's per capita income. Yeah CA is supposed to be tough, but I don't want to brag about my intelligence, now that I started, let me say this, "I hardly studied for more than 30 days to crack the one of the toughest exam in the world." But the problem is that the education I am getting is Junk to me and Unhealthy for my brain.

So I am now in middle of nowhere. I am 2 years due to become a CA. And it will be over. Everything will be over I guess. Because after that I have to spend whole of my life working for the sake of earning and make a family out of a beautiful girl whom I will be coerced to marry . And pretend to be happy for the rest of my life. 

And in the future I will be sitting on the chair talking with my wife and taking the sip of coffee and I will be thinking about 'What Movie I could have made?'

But I won't let that happen. And I am really sorry for not telling you about the movie I want to make.

(Caution: The article is the example of a false advertisement!!!)   

What Is Wrong With Me? Now I am a part of a Romantic Comedy. And I hate Romantic Comedy.

What is Love? What is wrong with me?

Recently I got this opportunity to be the part of clichéd tale of Crush at first sight. Let's not go with the details, I may bore you to death. And I don't want to be convicted of murder.

I am in love. Give or take. I can't say that I have never felt like this, I have, and I mustn't lie to you. Actually, I mustn't lie to myself.

I keep on thinking about how she must be in person except being my crush? I imagine every impossible imaginary scenario in my fanciful mind where I would say ‘Hi’ to her, May be on a facebook chat, as it happens most of the time, in my case. Sometimes I imagine her being in a Grocery store and I would see her there and she would recognize me and say ‘Hi’ to me and later with the help of my charm I would make her fall for me. While most of the time in my imaginary world she would confess that she loves me. See, I am that batshit crazy.

I know where this crush will go, and the answer is 'Knowhere'. She won't buy my personality. I am a cute guy (see I am friend zoned by default, manufacturing defect) who has a good sense of humor limited to being a party clown.

I can’t approach her. I am too scared. Like nobody says that. But truly I am afraid. Well the definition of afraid being, ‘Who the fuck falls for someone at first sight? Isn’t it supposed to happen in movies? It must be a phase or something. How would I convince her that I fell for her? How do I tell her? How to begin?................. And she is ‘taller than me.’’

I am ok with that. But who wants to fall for a cute midget. By midget I don’t mean that I am very small. I am mainstream small. ‘Asian Small.’ Well let’s skip this.

How do I tell her that if I didn’t know her I would rather not know; if I couldn’t have her, I would rather be alone? (Now you know that I am A Drama King)

My problem is I fall in love pretty often. ‘Oh this poor little heart of mine that constantly craves for a feminine companion.’  I pity myself. I vigorously pity myself because of this, only because of this. I want to be loved (Sounds Gay). And I don’t want to sound or act like Gay. No offense to Homosexuals.

Homosexuals are different. I respect their sexual sinlessness and I also believe that they have right to live their life and right to choose whom to live with?

Gay is something like Justin Beiber. Acting cute, being Girl’s boy. A person who acts perfect romantic and cute all the time. And Gay is not homosexual in my dictionary.

Now that I succeeded in not offending Homosexuals, Let me bore you with other details.

I am in love and I don’t believe in love, not a little bit…………And I have a girlfriend who is not sure if she had broken up with me or not and I am morally bound to not cheat on her.

Let Me Write A Poem To You, For I Have No Guts to Tell I Am In Love

What I saw in your eyes?

Lets call it love

For I have no other words

Sounds Cliched

But I saw the Light in the dark Sky.

When I looked into your eyes?

I wanted to spend the rest of my life

I wish

Oh you must hear this

I wish the "rest of my life" starts now

Right now, this moment

I can paint the time Blue

Like sky

I will make a masterpiece

Let me live inside your eyes

let me redefine your life

let me take your misery

Let the bliss multiply

Don't ask why?

Or who I am?

I am "in love with you"

for I have no words

I am in Love with you

Let me collect the Guts

To live beyond this Poem

Till then Let me dream about you

Think about you

Write a poem about you

For I have no words

For I have no Guts.

-Aayush

Make Your Own God because today's God is tainted and Politicized and is a Racist

GodIsGodGodGodGodGodMythicalGodGodExcuseGodGodGodAnd

GodGodAGodGodGodGodGoodGodGodGodGodEscapeGodGodGodGod

GodGodGodGodGodGod

"I hope you found the sentence saying'God Is Mythical Excuse And A Good Escape.' among the omnipresent 'God's here. 

It's very hard for person to find true meaning of anything if your mind is shoved with predetermined prejudices. Sadly, it's how our society works.

But you have your own rights to live in your own terms. Why don't you make your own prejudices? Why don't you find your own answers to the questions rather than accepting the answers Predetermined by the Society?

I am not saying that I have reached the enlightenment or Nirvana and found the answers to every questions. I am not saying that God is not real. I am saying try to find your own answers from among the already established prejudices.

Make your Own God because today's God is tainted and Politicized and is a Racist." 

Being Different Is Too Mainstream

Being Different Is Too Mainstream

I am Aayush Ghimire. I am Nobody. And like everybody I wanted to and still want to become somebody. I always knew what I wanted to become but never knew how to achieve it.

I want to be renowned, I want to be celebrated, I want to be loved. Well everybody wishes it. But I want to be different but then again there is this fact, 'Different is too mainstream.' I want to make a difference, nothing new, isn't it? Well to sum it up I am Arnav Ghimire and I want to be differently acknowledged but I am stuck inside this huge 'Green and Blue' ball called world, where even the different is not new.

'Difference is scarce resource, very scarce to be precise, to the extent that only few blessed people can achieve it. And rest of the world keeps on convincing themselves saying, 'we were not blessed, world was unfair.' Little do they know that even if the 'Difference' is scarce, blessing is not granted it is taken and is abundantly available.' 

I am Arnav Ghimire and I want to be Blessed.(Don't read Blessing as some Religious achievement)