I am A Peacock Flying Into the Rainbow: The Other Guys

My 22 years old life is full of Complaints. I am still young and time doesn’t seem to wait. I think I am a peacock who seems to ignore the word “Pea” in his name. “Change”, It has this uninterruptable relationship with time. I am crushed between their two sided affair. I waste most of the time thinking that I can change or I can adapt when I shall really be thinking is “I am a change and Time has to adapt with me.”

I, We, human beings have developed this nasty habit of blaming the “external force”. The poor helpless “time” falls prey to our nasty habits most of the time. We are so convinced, if not we try to convince ourselves that there is this external force looking upon us and it guides us, does it?

Aren’t we external?

We are totally different from what our soul craves for, everything except soul is “external”, when we are so busy searching the external force that we will never find, we do not realize that we are the true external. We are time, We are the force that guides us. The soul in us is the real human everything except soul, the flesh and bones and the brains and the lungs and even testicles and feminine Vagina, everything is God. Why not? It gives life to our soul. It gives conviction, the conviction of existence.

And sometimes I get so frustrated that I sign up into random dating sites thinking may be falling in love is the answer.

Sometimes I read books thinking may be Escaping is the answer.

Sometimes I listen to old tracks from the High School days thinking may be denial is the answer.

Sometimes I reminisce the thoughts I had for My crush thinking may be falling in Love is the answer.

Well, Life is not a phone call to be answered, neither it’s a problem to be solved. I admit, I may not have good perspective about life.

But if you were to compare life with phone calls and Algebraic problems.

Then I can surely answer what “Sad Life” is, “It is the calls that you missed, if life were to be phone calls.”

“It is the algebraic solution where you desperately try to match the Left hand with the Right hand side, but the beauty lies in realizing the Magic of the equation. If you have solved the problem, if life were to be an algebraic Equation, then you haven’t lived your life.”

I am a peacock meant to fly into the rainbow with what I have got.

Shelter

Dream in me

I am yours

Write Me

I will be your muse

Move On
I am your Paddles

Hide My Demons

In Your Break up stories

Give Me Hopes

I will Bask In Faith

Love is a religion

Be my superstition

I will confess
Shoot me with Roses of Denial

Hide My Demons
Shelter My Faith
Write My Superstition down
Let’s break

Break free

Friend Ourselves

Shoot each other with bad acquaintances

I am Raining
Can you shelter me?

I am Out Of Writer's Block!

"When Your 'Pain' is Not 'Pain' Enough"

When

Your Pain

Isn’t painful enough to share

When Your solution is not solution enough to dare

When You do Not have a miserable Life

But You have Lots of pain that Hides Inside

You don’t know what the hell it is?

But You do know what it reaps

Constantly you are held back
You wait for crazy sorcery trick to come out of your bag

Sometimes The world convinces you

How you are craziest of the careless whacks

Sometime You give up to the idea
That You may need to fall in love with a laid

But your pain is not ‘pain’ enough

To fall in love and to be shared!

You try to write about it
But you cannot find the words
You want to talk about it
But there are no right Numbers on your telephone!

And you just hold it inside

Waiting for that crazy sorcery
Waiting is not moving on
‘Time’ thinks it’s a mockery!

But your pain is not pain enough
But it hurts you a lot

Sometimes makes you little tired

Sometimes steals your fire
Kills away your motivation
Blinds eyes against inspiration
But your pain is not pain enough
But your pen is not pen enough
And Your Poem is not Poem Enough!

Name

Who Am I?

Or what I should be?

Somebody Please stop Calling me?

I am Not to be beckoned

I am busy waking Up

I am No Any Name

For I hate Identity

Identity gives you a religion

Identity Gives you a Caste

I hate God

I hate Human Culture

I said it

I finally Said It at Last

Let Me stay Anonymous

I don't want no Name

I Hate Being Human

I don't want to play this Game

Mama Call Me home

I want to Play Monopoly with Dad

They call me Names Mama

They Make Me Sad

They Want to assign me God

They want To Give Me a Clan

Can't I be myself, mama?

Can't I be whom I can?

Don't ask me to be the Society

I am destined to be a Change

I am Not Signing In Here

For I will not Spell My Name

A Naive Spineless Philosophy

How can I find an urge to earn something that I don’t value much?

I don't know If I will fit into this Mainstream World. 

I may sound drunk but I am not. I am just tired of Dreaming Simple "So‐Called Practical" Dreams.

Yes, I want to be different from the world. 

But Isn't being different so Mainstream?

Everybody wants to be different but my problem is I am not Everybody. That's Why I cannot fit into this System. My friends Complain about my Carelessness. I may have confused it with "Carefree‐ness".

But I don't have the Urge to care because I don't care how smarter the phones will get, how comfortable cars will get, How sexier fashion will get. I don't care at all. 

So How do I picture Wearing or Riding or Using these things If I do not value them at all?

So How do I dream of Being Rich when I want no money at all?

The questions may Sound absurd but It suffocates me. 

Isn't world about frying your brain and compromising your soul for the sake of Making Money? 

I don't want to make the family out of persons where Rest Of Members have to Bask under the Scorching Ego of the Money Maker?

I don't want to make a Community out of People who value the Price Tag of the clothes but not the "Values" a person wears?

Yes I am not talking practical but mark my words, "The World Will soon be comprised of the same family I despise of, the same community I am afraid of."

You are walking into the world Where People Will be Valued by their Education but not by their Knowledge.