What is Love? What is wrong with me?
Recently I got this
opportunity to be the part of clichéd tale of Crush at first sight. Let's not
go with the details, I may bore you to death. And I don't want to be convicted
of murder.
I am in love.
Give or take. I can't say that I have never felt like this, I have, and I
mustn't lie to you. Actually, I mustn't lie to myself.
I keep on thinking
about how she must be in person except being my crush? I imagine every
impossible imaginary scenario in my fanciful mind where I would say ‘Hi’ to
her, May be on a facebook chat, as it happens most of the time, in my case.
Sometimes I imagine her being in a Grocery store and I would see her there and
she would recognize me and say ‘Hi’ to me and later with the help of my charm I
would make her fall for me. While most of the time in my imaginary world she would
confess that she loves me. See, I am that batshit crazy.
I know where this
crush will go, and the answer is 'Knowhere'. She won't buy my personality. I am
a cute guy (see I am friend zoned by default, manufacturing defect) who has a
good sense of humor limited to being a party clown.
I can’t approach her.
I am too scared. Like nobody says that. But truly I am afraid. Well the
definition of afraid being, ‘Who the fuck falls for someone at first sight?
Isn’t it supposed to happen in movies? It must be a phase or something. How
would I convince her that I fell for her? How do I tell her? How to begin?.................
And she is ‘taller than me.’’
I am ok with that.
But who wants to fall for a cute midget. By midget I don’t mean that I am very
small. I am mainstream small. ‘Asian Small.’ Well let’s skip this.
How do I tell her that
if I didn’t know her I would rather not know; if I couldn’t have her, I would
rather be alone? (Now you know that I am A Drama King)
My problem is I fall
in love pretty often. ‘Oh this poor little heart of mine that constantly craves
for a feminine companion.’ I pity
myself. I vigorously pity myself because of this, only because of this. I want
to be loved (Sounds Gay). And I don’t want to sound or act like Gay. No offense
to Homosexuals.
Homosexuals are
different. I respect their sexual sinlessness and I also believe that they have
right to live their life and right to choose whom to live with?
Gay is something like
Justin Beiber. Acting cute, being Girl’s boy. A person who acts perfect romantic
and cute all the time. And Gay is not homosexual in my dictionary.
Now that I succeeded
in not offending Homosexuals, Let me bore you with other details.
I am in love and I
don’t believe in love, not a little bit…………And I have a girlfriend who is not
sure if she had broken up with me or not and I am morally bound to not cheat on
her.
It's like getting swished into life of someone else. Spend your days making scenarios in your own head. Love is but in delusional fantasies. Crushes, I feel, are really important because they help you to kill time (time you could have utilized in doing boring stuffs like studying or studying or studying an studying) and if cliched romantic poems can be called creative, you are definitely the next hit on the market (oh, Summer Love was a success. Oh, the times!). I fall in love with like every next intelligent guy. lol. Plus, I have a finding of my acute observation. Average-looking girls marry good-looking guys and good-looking girls the average looking guys! An iit so happens tall guys like short girls and short guys like tall girls. But then, one should be tall just so you have at least a single gene with the tall character, haha.
ReplyDeleteNice read.
I love goldie-attacks. Old posts first. Cause they can be embarrassing. Haha
I had this post in my guilt filled sleeve. I am embarrassed to the core.
DeleteI guess we kinda stalk each other.