Diary of A Seven Year Old Kid: Day One

Dear Archie,

I don’t want to call you a DIARY because dad said I can call you anything. He said that DIARY is a place where you write everything you learned or the questions you want to ask so that you can easily remember them. But you have to do it daily. And he said I do not have to give interviews when I become famous because this DIARY will be enough. I hate interviews when it comes on TV. I do not get to watch cartoons.

So, I learned following things today:

1.   I saw Shreya and Suyog holding hands today. My best friend ANGAD said that if boys and girls are holding hands then that means they are in LOVE. Yuck!

2.    I don’t love Shreya because we didn’t hold hands but I feel strange. It means that I don’t get to share Lunch with her. I like to share lunch with her because:

a.   She is so funny. This one time she told me that when we grow old Boys and Girls have to have sex.

b.   Sex is like a Game. Only adults are allowed to play it. I don’t know why. It sounds fun to me. I mean Shreya said that in this game called SEX boys and girl have to go inside a dark room and close the door. It is like Hide and seek but little different. Here, both boys and girl have to scream until they find each other. The one who screams the loudest will win. It is new. I want to have sex with ANGAD. It is unfair that Boys can only play with girl. I think I will win. Because I can scream very loud. I can even break glass with my sound.

c.   She has big eyes and funny nose.

d.   I can talk with her all day If there was no School.

e.   It means that we cannot talk from tomorrow. I feel strange just like the time when I lost my favorite toy ‘Dino’.

3.   I hate LOVE. Once you hold hand with a Girl you do not get to talk with your friends. I do not want to LOVE. I do not want to lose my friends.

4.   Adults are funny. And so are teachers. I learned that If we do not know answer to a question then it is okay because it means that the question is SILLY. For example:

a.   I asked dad yesterday If I can have sex with my friend Angad when I grow old. I mean it is just a hide and seek and it is unfair that a Boy should play with a girl only. He asked me to not ask such SILLY questions.

b.   A week ago my English Ma’am said that God has written life story for everybody already. She said that We just do what God wrote. So I asked her today DOES THAT MEAN GOD IS EVIL BECAUSE HE WROTE THAT THE TERRORISTS WILL KILL MANY CHILDREN IN PAKISTAN TODAY? She shouted at me and asked me to not ask such silly questions and I felt very bad. God is Bad. Adults are bad.

c.    Why can’t school teach us things we want to learn and why do I have to learn things that I do not want to learn about? Like why do I have to learn dates in History? Why do I have to learn English? I do not want to go to England anyway. Why can’t they tell us where we came from? Why does man look like man and flower look like flower? Why do not men grow in tree? How does magician float in air? But school doesn’t answer the questions that really bug you and teach you the things you really don’t want to do. Wait! Does that mean that school is just killing our time so that our parents can escape from us? My mom always says it is so peaceful when I am in School because I make lots of noises in home. That is why she pays money to school? I mean there is no point in sending a person to a place he doesn’t want to go. Parents are paying money to school so that they can shut us up. Are we being punished?

5.   I learned that IMPOSSIBLE means Adults way to run away from things they do not know answer to. I mean my Granny once said that people used to think it is impossible to fly many years ago and now look at us flying in planes. IMPOSSIBLE just means that adults are feeling lazy or they are foolish.

6.   My friends lied to me that RAMESH is untouchable. Today I accidently drank water from his bottle because his bottle and mine look same. I didn’t die. That means my friends are lying. I will talk with RAMESH from tomorrow.

7.   Why do I have to pay money to shopkeeper uncle to get things I like? Does his son pay him money? Why can’t we share things?

8.   Is Ramesh poor because he is untouchable or he is untouchable because he is poor?

9.   FUCK is a bad word they say. But I heard my sisters saying it many times on her phone. That means if you are adult it doesn’t matter if things are bad or good because it is the adults who make rules about things being good and bad in the first place.

10.Why is it bad to kill butterfly but not bad to kill a moth? Aren’t they both living things?

11. Are there any white crows?

12. Why didn’t granny wake up? Why is she still sleeping? Doesn’t she care that I miss her? If old people go for a long sleep is it necessary to burn them? Is it bad to not cry although I felt sad that they burn her without asking me? How can she come back if she has turned into ashes? Is it bad to sleep for a long time? I sleep long on Saturdays. I am afraid that they will burn me. So I won’t sleep long on Saturday.

13.Why are adults so confusing?

I hope you understand whatever I am saying. Thank God Archie you don’t pretend to have answers to things you don’t know.

Are you an adult? Do you have feelings?

Ok then. See you tomorrow!

Stardust: I am Another Sun

What I am seeing is the another Sun today
Eight Minutes old

How puny am I to ponder in the past of the wasted Hydrogen atom?

And call it a present

The Juncture of survival I claim

I am Eight Minutes New

And I am yet to comprehend my existence

Am I an Extant Poem?
Will I ever ponder beyond the locution I Intertwine?

Or forever remain a Confused wordplay

Not Playing at all

I live inside the Ghost of a misspend Helium

No inferno could ever make sense

than the Sun I revolve around

I can be the morning from now on

Why Not?

I have always been a stardust

"Lizard who Smells like Rectum"

(A Perspective)

You were a sperm

Who aced the ovary's test

And since then

You have been examined and tested

Like a commodity

In each and every steps

What is world if it is not a factory?

Your qualities are being controlled

Your destiny is prescribed

You are sold in the market

Advertised in CVs

You are interviewed

Tested and it never stops

All you have is that false sense of freedom

False conviction that choices are yours to make

But Alas!

You are just like a lizard

Convicted of crime unspeakable

Arrested

Because you cannot fly

What is world if it is not a factory?

You are a raw material

Filtered in high schools

Distilled in colleges

Mocked with false choices

Crushed in the fabrics of so called reality

All ready

You are now a machine

Whose job is to please everybody

You are packed with your fancy degrees

Labeled to be sold in the market

with inhuman currencies

And then you are played with

Stripped of your dignity

Sadly

You adapt

Strategically placing your lips on the rectum of anything that promises dream

And then you try to morally justify your rape

By calling it 'Sacrifices' the world asks you to make

Nothing changes

You are still a Lizard

But now you smell like rectum

You are nothing

You are just what the market needs

Interviewed by Anonymity

What is your Greatest Fear?

I do not have greatest fear. Although the fact that every person around me who love me and acknowledge my existence are eventually going to disappear from the face of the earth sends the chill down my spine. I do not want to lose them, not now, not when I am alive. I think I can barely exist without them. But it is not my greatest fear.

Funny thing is I am always anxious. Anxious of little things like what if my boss finds the accounting error I committed in the financial statements he has just approved, what if I cross my path with a burglar, what if some goon sabotaged me in an ATM and decapitate me [I recently watched one video] and take all of my money, what if I am not really destined to be great, what if I die, what if I fail, what if I…?

I do not have fear, the greatest one. But I do have series of them that sometimes make me anxious and paranoid.

Will I die alone?

Will I find my soul mate?

Will I be saved?

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I have excuses to everything. That is why I haven’t progressed. I reason my incapacity with my witty way with words which I am really good at. But I am not the words I wear, explanation I give.

And self acclaimed realization that I am a good student (My academia makes it official), a good poet (I have won few competitions and some hearts), a good singer (I have been acknowledged with honest reviews that have advised me to practice and the sky will be the limit.), a good leader (I sometimes find myself influencing/manipulating people to do what I want them to do. Many have acknowledged. I almost revolutionized entire High School policy. The Principal still despises me.), a good photographer (Some of my Achievements have been paid homage to.), a good……….. I hate the term ‘A good’. I deplore ‘A good’. It confuses me. I do not know who I really am and what I really want because I enjoy everything I am good at. It makes me impractical.

And I almost forgot to mention, I deplore the fact that my English is rather simple. Not complicated and beautiful like those writers. I have tried but I cannot change the way I am, can I? Haha

What is your favorite journey?

In a Philosophical Way?

I have learned that everything fades away. The love wears when the feelings remain. You feel different about the same thing in different point of time. Sometimes you confuse it with love, and sometimes hatred, but the feelings remain.

In a physical way?

I remember few journeys in pieces like when we had to take a day long Hike to travel from Bhojpur to Dawa and we passed through some beautiful peaceful places away from humanly civilization where you could hear the soothing sound of the distant streams and nostalgic chirpings of every soulful birds. You could listen to yourself thinking and could almost see the heart of every person travelling through those places.

I remember few bus journeys and no the destination is not the reason I remember them. I remember them because I had right set of songs in my MP3 player to accompany me.

I remember leaving for home. It is one of the best feeling.

On what occasion do you Lie?

Most of the times on the occasion when I am not needed to lie. And I tend to tell the truth in the places I do not necessarily have to. I trust people. Not the wrong people. I trust anyone who is nice to me. It is for them to decide if they are right or wrong. Besides I do not have nuclear secrets to hold within myself. I rarely keep secrets.

But I lie sometimes and I am not really proud of those occasions but there are times when manipulating the version of truth have rightfully saved my ass.

What do you dislike about your appearance?

Perhaps my vertical alignment, how the sky wants to stay farther away from me?

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I do not quite remember. I have to ask the people around me.

When and where were you the most Happiest?

Recently, when I scored two goals in a Commonwealth stadium. Although it was small achievement but I remember being happy.

And few days ago when I was jamming with my Guitarist friend, Ankit. He is like a brother to me and that song he wrote and sang. It was very tough day for the hair on the back of my neck to stay intact. It was soul refining.

What talent would you most like to have?

I just want to find myself. I am complete. I just need to find myself.

If you could change one thing about yourself what would that be?

My literary prowess? Although it contradicts with my previous answer.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of Misery?

Self fabricated miseries? Which are physically nonexistent but they exist because we believe that they exist.

What is your most treasured possession?

I have been surprised with many gifts and I treasure them the most and the person involved in those gifts are my most treasured possession.

Where would you like to live?

Somewhere peaceful that possess less man made things and more of nature.

What is your favorite occupation?

Happiness? What more can I say?

What is your most marked characteristic?

Although I regard it as painful possession but people who know me tell that it doesn’t take much time for people to trust me. I have enjoyed this skill many times but sometimes it becomes burden. Because people trust me with their secrets and I do not value secret or perhaps I am not good with them and things cannot really stay inside my heart forever. I yap them out eventually.

Who is your favorite hero of Fiction?

Rick Blaine from Casablanca.

The Poem That Melted My Mother's Misunderstanding and made me realize that I am yet to perfect Nepali Unicode Typing

मैले स्कुल मा के सिखे?

खै के सिखे?

कहिले काहिँ आमा संग झगडा गरेर थाह पाए

मन कसैको दुखाउनु हुदैन भनेर

बिचारी जत्ति झगडा गर्दा पनि

छोरा भनेर पुल्पुलाएर बोलाउछिन

स्कुलमा " मोरल साइन्स"

नामको मात्र बिषय थियो

पान पसल मा गुटका च्याप्ने गुरु ले

धुम्रपान गर्नु हुदैन भन्दै सिकाउथे

बाबा को काँध मा चढेर उडदा

खेल के हो भनेर सिखेको मैले

स्कुलमा "फिजिकल ट्रेनिङ्ग"

नामको मात्र बिषय थियो

परीक्षामा फुटबल को चित्र गोलो भएन भनेर फेल गर्ने ले

खेलकुद के सिकाउनु?

गणित बाट धेरै सिके

तर नचाहिने कुरा बढी थियो

हिसाब त दशैं मा दक्षिणा गन्दा गन्दै सिकियो

बिजिनेस गर्ने सपना भएको ले पनि

घाम को छाया बाँस मा पर्यो भने

बाँस कति किलो थियो भन्दै नाप्नु पर्थ्यो?

गणित त बिषय हैन बाहाना मात्र थियो

फेल गराउने साधन थियो

विद्यार्थी को सपना को हिसाब राखन नसक्ने ले

गणित के सिकाउथे होला र?

जिन्दगि भाइ हुर्केको देखेर सिके

मेरो उटपटाङ्ग कथा

ध्यान दिएर सुन्ने ति आँखा टल्किएको देख्दा

कविता लेख्न सीखे

"साहित्य" त बिषय मात्र थियो

मैले कति काब्य पढेको छु भनेर मेरो रचनात्मकता जाच्ने ले

के 'सिर्जना' गर्न सिकाउने होला?

छिमेकी घर को झगडा देखेर

समाज मा कस्तो छबि बन्छ भनेर सिके

मातिने बाउ को छोरा साथी थियो मेरो

उसको दुख देखेर

समाज र परिवार सिखे

"सामाजिक शिक्षा" त बिषय मात्र थियो

समाज मा आवाज राख्न नसक्ने ले

के समाज मा जिउन सिकाउथे?

म शिक्षित हैन

ज्ञानी बन्न चाहन्छु

स्कुल गएर आधा जिन्दगि नास भयो

शिक्षा मेरो ज्ञानको अडचन बन्यो

म ज्ञानी बन्न सक्थे होला

तर बीच मा स्कुल जानु पर्यो

ज्ञान त खुला आकास मुनिको

जीवन जिएर पो पाइन्छ जस्तो लाग्यो

त्यो पैसा माङ्ग्ने

तर दिए जति कहिले नासिकाउने बिद्यालयले

के ज्ञानी बनाउथ्यो होला र?

Took an inspiration from Mark Twain's Quote