What is your Greatest Fear?
I do not have greatest fear. Although the fact that every person around me who love me and acknowledge my existence are eventually going to disappear from the face of the earth sends the chill down my spine. I do not want to lose them, not now, not when I am alive. I think I can barely exist without them. But it is not my greatest fear.
Funny thing is I am always anxious. Anxious of little things like what if my boss finds the accounting error I committed in the financial statements he has just approved, what if I cross my path with a burglar, what if some goon sabotaged me in an ATM and decapitate me [I recently watched one video] and take all of my money, what if I am not really destined to be great, what if I die, what if I fail, what if I…?
I do not have fear, the greatest one. But I do have series of them that sometimes make me anxious and paranoid.
Will I die alone?
Will I find my soul mate?
Will I be saved?
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I have excuses to everything. That is why I haven’t progressed. I reason my incapacity with my witty way with words which I am really good at. But I am not the words I wear, explanation I give.
And self acclaimed realization that I am a good student (My academia makes it official), a good poet (I have won few competitions and some hearts), a good singer (I have been acknowledged with honest reviews that have advised me to practice and the sky will be the limit.), a good leader (I sometimes find myself influencing/manipulating people to do what I want them to do. Many have acknowledged. I almost revolutionized entire High School policy. The Principal still despises me.), a good photographer (Some of my Achievements have been paid homage to.), a good……….. I hate the term ‘A good’. I deplore ‘A good’. It confuses me. I do not know who I really am and what I really want because I enjoy everything I am good at. It makes me impractical.
And I almost forgot to mention, I deplore the fact that my English is rather simple. Not complicated and beautiful like those writers. I have tried but I cannot change the way I am, can I? Haha
What is your favorite journey?
In a Philosophical Way?
I have learned that everything fades away. The love wears when the feelings remain. You feel different about the same thing in different point of time. Sometimes you confuse it with love, and sometimes hatred, but the feelings remain.
In a physical way?
I remember few journeys in pieces like when we had to take a day long Hike to travel from Bhojpur to Dawa and we passed through some beautiful peaceful places away from humanly civilization where you could hear the soothing sound of the distant streams and nostalgic chirpings of every soulful birds. You could listen to yourself thinking and could almost see the heart of every person travelling through those places.
I remember few bus journeys and no the destination is not the reason I remember them. I remember them because I had right set of songs in my MP3 player to accompany me.
I remember leaving for home. It is one of the best feeling.
On what occasion do you Lie?
Most of the times on the occasion when I am not needed to lie. And I tend to tell the truth in the places I do not necessarily have to. I trust people. Not the wrong people. I trust anyone who is nice to me. It is for them to decide if they are right or wrong. Besides I do not have nuclear secrets to hold within myself. I rarely keep secrets.
But I lie sometimes and I am not really proud of those occasions but there are times when manipulating the version of truth have rightfully saved my ass.
What do you dislike about your appearance?
Perhaps my vertical alignment, how the sky wants to stay farther away from me?
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I do not quite remember. I have to ask the people around me.
When and where were you the most Happiest?
Recently, when I scored two goals in a Commonwealth stadium. Although it was small achievement but I remember being happy.
And few days ago when I was jamming with my Guitarist friend, Ankit. He is like a brother to me and that song he wrote and sang. It was very tough day for the hair on the back of my neck to stay intact. It was soul refining.
What talent would you most like to have?
I just want to find myself. I am complete. I just need to find myself.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would that be?
My literary prowess? Although it contradicts with my previous answer.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of Misery?
Self fabricated miseries? Which are physically nonexistent but they exist because we believe that they exist.
What is your most treasured possession?
I have been surprised with many gifts and I treasure them the most and the person involved in those gifts are my most treasured possession.
Where would you like to live?
Somewhere peaceful that possess less man made things and more of nature.
What is your favorite occupation?
Happiness? What more can I say?
What is your most marked characteristic?
Although I regard it as painful possession but people who know me tell that it doesn’t take much time for people to trust me. I have enjoyed this skill many times but sometimes it becomes burden. Because people trust me with their secrets and I do not value secret or perhaps I am not good with them and things cannot really stay inside my heart forever. I yap them out eventually.
Who is your favorite hero of Fiction?
Rick Blaine from Casablanca.
